Samstag, 31. Januar 2015

The 3 Rules of Flux (2015)

Hello dear Interwebs People out there who are actually reading my blog.

My name is Flux, and all people wjo know me would describe me as loud, annoying and a guy who swears and curse all the time, laughing ablout every so simple joke and cant hold back to make even worse jokes about topics he shouldn't joke about. That's me.

Today I decided that I ruined by this lifestyle my life even more than I could have ever imagined. From being pervy and creepy to being an absolute a-hole to all the people I know, including my friends and family. I am planning on changing this TODAY! But before I explain how, let me tell you a little backstory of mine.

It started in the second type of school I visited. I made new friends at day one. After some time a new guy appeared on the school and later on he became one of ny best friends.
He had cruel and sometimes even overtop and unfunmy humor. He loved gore movies like Saw, Hostle, the human centipede and many more. I always took my space and tried not to become like him. Suddenly one day we actually laughed about the same unfunny and stupid joke and I knew, that this is gonna be a hard life I'll have.
I already knew that I became more and more like him even tho I didn't wanted that. I started watching splatter movies with him even tho I was a kindhearted guy and I disliked brutality in any form. I started making really mean jokes about the friend we had in school, yeah you could say I nearly bullied him. It went thst far. I made stupid jokes like him and started drawing gruesome and really damn weird drawings in school and outside school.

And this is how everything started. How I became the person I am today. I eventually dropped out of school and lost complete contact to all my friends there.
Basically... I lost every single friend I had in my life whenever something like dropping out of school or changing from school to school happened. Now I was alone. I only had my internet friends left and they reduced also even more than I wanted it. At the end I had one guy I always could have counted on. Chui.
Chui and I know each other since many many years now and of course we had here and there some really hard arguments and eventually even ignored each other for a while. I quickly found some new friends over the internet. Through some sites. Friends of other friends. Yea even some subscribers I knew back in the days of me.

Now. What happened was: I had an allergic reaction, probably due to the high amount of medicals I took back then due to some other physical problems I had. I couldn't finish my finals and so I was there. Sitting at home for a complete year, just waiting to finally restart my finals again... a complete year huh... time flies by.. anyways. I was all alone by myself. And thanks to the physical illness I had for months, I couldn't even take a step outside my door without feeling to nearly puke and die.

So there I was. 24/7 all by myself. No one I could talk to because I lost my RL friends. No one who could comfort me when I was sick again. No one I could tell a story or a joke or even just hang out together. Eventually I stsrted unintentionally talking to myself because of all the loneliness and bad thoughts I had. And it actually worked. I thought I'll never need any humans in my life ever again. So I started telling myself stupid and unfunny jokes which I already knew. Starting real conversation with my inner me. And eventually lost all my sanity. My sanity was already so low, that I started harrassing others instead of me to get rid of my anger and my frustration and all that stuff. And I hurt many people which I am not in contact anymore.
I completly lost myself and became "something" I never expected I would become. Everything turned around. I wasn't myself anymore. I was a guy who sat all day long in front of his pc, thinking he is a god and everyone should obey to him. It is kind of embarrassing talking about myself like that. But that's the truth. I got nothing to hide. Not anymore. Everything seems to be useless to me eipther if it's about a secret or even if it's about something deep or important. I literally care about nothing anymore. I don't care if I live or die. If I hurt someone or myself by saying mean things and insulting someone or myself. This is not what I want to be. I don't wanna be a respectless little kid who acts like everyone and everything belongs to him. I don't want this. And this is the reason why I started thinking about 3 simple rules to try to get my lifr in perfect balance again and try to be somewhat "normal" in the eyes of others.

And here we are. The 3 rules you waited for since you started reading my enourmosly long Blog entry.

Rule 1: Friendly
Rule 2: Respectful
Rule 3: Honorable

Rule 1 is simple. Being friendly. No matter what a bad day I had, or how someone acts or REACTS I will NOT insult someone, offend someone, abuse the help of someone and I will NOT swear and insult with it even more people un- or intensionally.

Rule 2 means that I have to be respectful to other people. Don't hurt their feelings. Accept their opinions. Let people be. Someone who doesn't give others some respect, will never earn respect. Simple as that.

Rule 3 isn't complicated but will take a bit longer to explain whaf I meant by that.
Being an honorable member of our community is seriously hard, but worthy and successful work. It basically means that I follow Rule 1 and 2 AND also do something for others. Help others out when I got the chance to do so. So basically it means being friendly and helpful, respecting evyeryone's opinions or respect them at all. Working hard to be part of this thing called "Life" and of course last but not least: honor others for their actions and maybe gain honor someday aswell for MY actions.

Friendly, Respectful, Honorable.
These 3 Rules will guide my Life from now on. There will be no excuse if I break one of these rules, because I made them up to guide my way through life and become a piece of my life and the life of others.

I am really thankful for the fact that you took your time to read my blog-entry and I thank you so much for supporting me even by reading this post.
I love you, people.
And I wish that everything goes as you plan in your lifes :-)

Have a nice day or evening. And have a nice life :-)

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